


Through the Long Night

by Mireille



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-01-15
Updated: 2006-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-12 22:50:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13557255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mireille/pseuds/Mireille
Summary: Xander figures somebody ought to stick around, just in case, and nobody better is available.





	Through the Long Night

**Author's Note:**

> Set during part II of "Becoming," sometime in the night between the final battle and the last scenes. All italicized quotations are taken (pretty much out of context) from that episode.
> 
> This is S2, so Xander is underage. OTOH, absolutely nothing happens; this is, to be quite honest, only barely pre-slash, let alone actual slash. (Which is why I felt weird about using "underage" as a warning, and went with "choose not to warn.") Maybe "pre-pre-slash" is a better category?

_You're not real._

Xander has lied so many times to the nurses here that sometimes, he's halfway afraid that he's going to forget who he is. Willow's brother, Giles' son, anything that will get them to let him in the room and tell him what's going on. 

Oz is sitting with Willow, and the doctor just chased him out of Giles' room for a while, so Xander goes and sits on one of the uncomfortable chairs in the waiting room. There's another family there--they've been there all night, he thinks--a man, three sleepy kids, and a woman who sits there with her eyes closed and her arms wrapped around the smallest boy. Her lips never stop moving; Xander thinks she's praying. 

He hasn't prayed since he was maybe six, and that was, "Now I lay me down to sleep." He kind of wishes he still did, because at least that would be doing something. 

When the doctor leaves Giles' room, Xander goes back in to sit with him, because at least that's doing something. 

_It's a trick._

According to the doctor, Giles will be all right. 

Xander knows the doctor's lying, but he doesn't even know if _she_ knows that she is; she doesn't know what happened. Xander's not sure what Giles told them, but whatever it was, he's pretty sure "tied up and tortured" wasn't part of it. 

Giles is sleeping now, drugged and fitful and dreaming, and Xander can't make himself leave. Someone should be--they don't even know if Giles _has_ a family, let alone how to call them, and someone should be here. It probably shouldn't be him, but Willow's hurt and Oz is with her and Buffy's saving the world and Cordelia is Cordelia--and he feels a stab of guilt when he thinks about Cordy, even though he called earlier and made sure she was okay, and what else can he do? At least she's not hurt, which is more than he can say for a lot of people--so that leaves him. 

And at least just doing nothing is one of his natural talents. 

Not long after Angelus killed Ms. Calendar, Xander dropped by Giles' office to ask him something; he doesn't remember what it was, now, and it doesn't really matter. He never asked the question, because Giles was sitting at his desk, his head buried in his hands. 

Xander had stood there for a little while, shifting his weight from one foot to the other and trying to figure out whether there was anything he could do, anything he ought to do. Any way he could make this better. 

Except there wasn't anything anyone could do, and so Xander had just turned around and gone to fifth period, just like he'd never been there. 

Xander doesn't have to wonder why he's thinking about that now; it seems kind of obvious. Like he said, doing nothing is something he's pretty good at. 

Giles is murmuring in his sleep, names and pleas and whimpers of pain, and Xander fidgets unhappily, feeling like he's eavesdropping. 

Giles is going to be okay. The doctor has said it, the nurses have said it, he's told Oz and Willow and Cordelia that Giles will be fine. 

He doesn't believe it, though, and it turns out that sitting and watching Giles hurting isn't one of his talents after all. 

_They get inside my head, make me see things I want._

It's almost morning, and the world hasn't ended, which is a good sign. Good-ish, anyway, because Buffy hasn't turned up, and Xander's pretty sure Giles is being tortured again in his sleep, so there's a lot of not-good mixed in with it. But the world hasn't ended yet, and that's the best news Xander's had in a while. 

They gave him something to help him sleep, which Xander thinks was probably a mistake, because he figures Giles would really like to wake up right about now.   
He puts his hand on Giles' shoulder, quietly saying, "Hey, I got you out, remember? No fair forgetting that," and smiles a little when Giles quiets down. 

Maybe he hasn't been completely useless tonight. 

Leaning over the way he is, he can actually hear what Giles is muttering, and he wishes he couldn't. It's not fair to Giles; it's not any more fair than vampires looking inside his head, taking whatever they think he'd be willing to believe. It's not _cruel_ the way they were, but it's not fair.

Maybe it's not fair to himself, either, he thinks. Which doesn't make a lot of sense, but it's not like he's been getting enough sleep lately. He's allowed to not make sense. 

_Then why would they make you see me?_

Xander leaves before Giles wakes up; he figures the last thing Giles wants to see first thing in the morning is Xander sitting next to his bed.

He goes to check on Willow, who's wide awake and insisting that she wants to go home, and then he buys a Coke and a Snickers bar from the vending machines and sits in the waiting room flipping through a _Sports Illustrated_ from February. 

The family from last night is gone; there's just an old man reading the newspaper and flinching every time someone in scrubs walks into the room. 

Xander leans back so his head is against the wall and closes his eyes. He should probably go home; he could use a shower and some clean clothes and maybe even actual sleep. 

Giles is going to wake up soon, though. And even if he's got no business in Giles' room, he figures somebody ought to stick around, just in case, and nobody better is available.

**Author's Note:**

> [me on tumblr](https://mireille719.tumblr.com)


End file.
